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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24463810">against the rules</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/nobrainjustchiakienstar/pseuds/nobrainjustchiakienstar'>nobrainjustchiakienstar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>melancholy kaleidoscope [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Online Friendship, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:13:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,992</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24463810</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/nobrainjustchiakienstar/pseuds/nobrainjustchiakienstar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Idols” was what Tsukasa called them, explaining that they sing and dance and have concerts called lives and it was all too much for Kohaku, who was buried in a life of traditon, yet he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the lively footwork and felt something stirring in his chest whenever one of the idols waved or smiled or winked at the audience or a camera.</p><p>“Idols are so dazzling, aren’t they, Kohakun?”</p><p>❀</p><p>A night of watching lives with Tsukasa leads Kohaku to discovering a whole new world and someone he'd break a whole lot of rules for.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Oukawa Kohaku/Shiratori Aira</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>melancholy kaleidoscope [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1816795</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>against the rules</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>idk how long this one is going to be ahahaha let's see where this goes<br/>kohaira needed a nice long story so hopefully this works</p><p>cw non-explicit child abuse because it's Kohaku</p><p>the only editing i did was to fix some formatting don't @ me but sorry in advance for any inaccuracies</p><p>edit: there's now a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/105271628052177/posts/123604966218843/?d=n">Vietnamese translation!</a> thank you <a href="https://twitter.com/Mochikuna1">Mochikuna1</a>!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was always an ordeal visiting the main family in Tokyo.</p><p>Of course there was the knowledge gnawing at Kohaku that the Oukawas were always visiting for business, the Suous never simply <em> housed </em> the inferior family for fun, but Kohaku was only 13, and he wouldn't have anything insightful or useful or even welcome to say to any self-respecting Suou. </p><p>If he dared he'd be put into his place by his parents without hesitation anyway.</p><p>But Tsukasa was different. That's not to say he wasn't a self-respecting Suou -- he was obviously very proud to be part of the powerful main family, but he never scolded Kohaku for his less-than-perfect manners, he never lashed out at the younger boy for making eye contact with him on the few occasions Kohaku had forgotten to avert his gaze to the ground, and he, for some reason unknown to the young Oukawa heir, never pushed him away.</p><p>Tsukasa was warm and inviting compared to the rest of the Suou family, prideful and arrogant in his own way but kind under it all.</p><p>Kohaku always looked forward to trips to the Suou mansion in Tokyo, hours away from the Oukawa home in Kyoto, because it meant hours of hanging out with Tsukasa, learning what his life in Tokyo was like, and occasionally Tsukasa would introduce Kohaku to something new and fascinating that he could've never imagined on his own.</p><p>One night they found themselves huddled in Tsukasa’s room in front of his laptop, watching videos of live performances unlike any that Kohaku had ever seen before. “Idols” was what Tsukasa called them, explaining that they sing and dance and have concerts called lives and it was all too much for Kohaku -- the glittery costumes were so <em> mesmerizing </em> to watch under the flashy stage lights, the music was so catchy and untraditional, and the <em> dancing </em> . The <em> dancing! </em> Kohaku, who had never worn anything besides traditional clothing and only knew traditional dance, couldn’t tear his eyes away from the lively footwork and felt something stirring in his chest whenever one of the idols waved or smiled or <em> winked </em> at the audience or a camera.</p><p>It felt like mere minutes had passed when they finished watching the first concert, and Tsukasa didn’t even have to ask Kohaku before he clicked to another one recommended to them. This one was a significantly smaller group, but the outfits were more colorful, the music was more upbeat, and they reminded Kohaku of a TV show he’d caught small glimpses of at home.</p><p>Halfway through the recording, Tsukasa flopped onto his back with a happy sigh. “Idols are so <em> dazzling </em>, aren’t they, Kohakun?”</p><p>Kohaku just nodded, eyes still fixed on the screen, watching the idols do a lively number about heroes and hope. Most of them seemed really young, probably only a year or two older than Tsukasa.</p><p>“This <em> unit </em> is from the school I’m going to next year,” Tsukasa said with a proud grin as he sat up. Kohaku pictured Tsukasa on a stage like in the videos, in front of a sea of waving penlights, singing and dancing beside unit-mates who would undoubtedly be incredible and talented and all Kohaku could describe it as was <em> cool </em>, because Tsukasa was always cool in his eyes.</p><p>Kohaku opened his mouth to praise his cousin, but before he could say anything a knock at the door brought them back to reality.</p><p>“Young Master Tsukasa,” a voice on the other side called. Kohaku recognized it as one of the Suou family servants, the nice one who brought the boys sweets from the kitchen earlier. “It’s very late and your mother asked me to remind you of your lessons tomorrow.”</p><p>Both boys glanced down at the laptop to check the time. It was well past midnight already, and Kohaku feared that he was going to be punished for being up so late. He started mentally bracing himself as Tsukasa scrambled to shut the laptop and open the door. Kohaku picked himself up off the floor where he'd been sitting on his knees (oh yeah, they definitely hurt like he'd been sitting for hours), brushing off his kimono and wondering what his punishment was going to be. Perhaps traditional dance drills until he collapsed? Profuse apologies to the Suous with his face pressed into the floor? Or maybe he would get off easy with a missed meal and verbal lashings?</p><p>When the door was opened, the servant didn't look angry, only mildly surprised that Kohaku was present. “Young Master Oukawa,” he said with a bow and a smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes slightly, “No doubt you two were just having fun and lost track of time?”</p><p>Kohaku hesitated, measuring his words before answering, not wanting to say anything that would get him in more trouble than he surely already had coming. “Y-yeah, tha's it,” he answered, not finding anything better to say.</p><p>“Pardon my saying this, but I'm very happy you two can get along so well,” the servant replied in the same gentle tone, taking Kohaku by surprise. Back at the Oukawa house he would have been hauled straight to his parents.</p><p>Well, his parents weren't at the Suou mansion this time anyway, they'd sent him off on his own so they could “attend to some business” or whatever… probably just wanted to get rid of their burden of a son for a while, Kohaku thought.</p><p>“Would you like me to escort you to the guest house, Young Master Oukawa? Or would you rather I set up a futon for you in here?”</p><p>Kohaku was about to say he should go to the guest house, it was already prepared for him anyway, but Tsukasa interrupted, “Kohakun can stay with me! Please bring in a futon for him.”</p><p>The Suou servant simply nodded and bowed again, shutting the door as he left to fulfill the heir’s request, not leaving any room for Kohaku to argue.</p><p>“Kasa onii-chan!” Kohaku glared at his cousin, who simply started straightening up his room, putting the laptop away and making sure there was an appropriate amount of space for the futon (not that his room wasn't plenty spacious, finding room was <em> definitely </em> not an issue). Kohaku fidgeted, not knowing what he should do. “Ya sure you won't get in trouble fer this?”</p><p>Tsukasa laughed as he idly fluffed one of his pillows. “Of course not! It's just a <em> sleepover </em> . I actually do have <em> lessons </em> tomorrow though, so we really do need to sleep.”</p><p>A knock at the door signaled the return of the kind-faced servant before he quietly pushed the door open, unrolling the futon where Tsukasa instructed, and before Kohaku could worry any more or even comment, Tsukasa grabbed his wrist and pulled him over, pushing on his shoulders to get him to at least sit down. Was there some kind of etiquette to this? Kohaku had never participated in a “sleepover” before, the only places he'd been allowed to sleep were the Oukawa house and the Suou guesthouse, and it's not like he had any friends besides Tsukasa. He'd surely be punished for asking to be allowed to make some friends anyway, they were “unnecessary” and “distracting” according to his parents.</p><p>His thoughts were interrupted by the servant wishing the boys a good night and turning off the light, the quiet click of the latch echoing in the sudden quiet.</p><p>Kohaku settled in, the futon softer than his own at home but much more familiar than the western-style beds in the guest house. He was still reeling a little at how <em> nicely </em> he was being treated here, he hadn't been punished or even scolded for anything since he arrived -- if anything, some Suou family members had asked him to speak up more because he was too quiet, and of course Tsukasa was excited to see him. Tsukasa had been studying abroad for quite a while and only recently came back home to prepare to start high school, so the cousins had an awful lot to catch up on (well, Kohaku didn't have much to share, since nothing had changed and he still only knew what television and the internet told him about the world outside for the Oukawa house. Tsukasa, however, had hardly stopped talking about everything he'd seen while he was outside of Japan, which then of course led to him showing Kohaku the idol concerts that kept replaying in his mind.)</p><p>Tsukasa was certainly already asleep, Kohaku could hear his breathing coming slow and even from the bed nearby, but he whispered a quiet “thank you” into the dark before falling into slumber himself.</p><p>❀</p><p>The next day, the boys woke up at the same time, both tired from staying up so late the night before. Tsukasa met with his tutor for his lessons, leaving Kohaku to figure out what to do with himself until the afternoon. </p><p>He spent the morning practicing his dance drills in the garden by himself, but he kept losing the tune in his head, accidentally humming the songs from the concerts they'd seen before bed. He gave up on drills, without his parents or instructor there to pick apart his form he'd just be solidifying his bad habits anyway.</p><p>Kohaku joined Tsukasa for lunch, but after that he still had Tsukasa’s archery lessons to wait through. He used the time to try to figure out how to use his smartphone that he'd been given before being sent off to Tokyo -- he was told by his parents that he could only use it in emergencies but it wouldn't help anything if he didn't know how to use it at all, but even figuring out the basics was easier than he'd expected and he quickly grew bored of that as well.</p><p>He'd never been bored at home, if he wasn't doing something productive all the time he was ordered to do more training or studying and forced to apologize for wasting time….</p><p>The break felt nice, but it didn't change the fact that Kohaku had no idea how to just <em> relax </em>.</p><p>He ended up deciding to take a walk through the garden, waving to the Suou servants milling about when he saw them, but refusing any service from them if they asked if he needed anything. The cherry blossoms were starting to bloom, the trees in the Suou mansion’s garden giving a welcome splash of color to the surroundings but also reminding Kohaku that he'd be saying goodbye to Tsukasa for a long time again soon, as springtime was a very busy season for both branches of the family.</p><p>“Kohakun, is that a RYUSEITAI song you're <em> humming </em>?” Tsukasa’s voice surprised Kohaku, making him jump. He hadn't even realized he was humming as he strolled through the garden.</p><p>“Kasa onii-chan,” Kohaku whined, “don't scare me like that!”</p><p>Tsukasa laughed and offered a weak apology. He was already in more casual clothes again, so his archery practice must have ended a while ago and Kohaku hadn't noticed. How long had he been wandering the garden…?</p><p>“Would you like to go back to my room and watch more <em> lives </em>? There's a lot more units from Yumenosaki if you liked the ones we watched last night.”</p><p>With little more than a nod, Tsukasa led the way and showed Kohaku live after live, each one drastically different from the last: from the aggressive rock of DEADMANZ to the delicate and calculated violins and spectacle of Valkyrie, from the staggeringly-large unit Chess to the much smaller and concise fine -- Kohaku craved more, wanting to learn as much as he could about all of them.</p><p>But alas, time flew by and the boys needed to sleep, though Kohaku knew this would be his last night at the Suou mansion and he wished he could've stayed there, badly dancing and awkwardly singing with his cousin longer.</p><p>While Tsukasa slept, Kohaku was restless. His limbs tingled with leftover excitement and he tossed and turned and stared at the high ceiling but sleep seemed to be too out of reach.</p><p>Kohaku remembered then that his smartphone was nearby, and he vaguely remembered that he could use it to access the internet, so he reached out in the dark to find it and (after being blinded by the sudden flash of the screen turning on), opened the web browser.</p><p>There he paused. He wasn't exactly a stranger to the internet, he just wasn't sure what to search for or where to start. He typed the name of the school the units he and Tsukasa had watched were from, “yumenosaki” into the search bar, scrolled until he found a forum site he was at least somewhat familiar with from his other curious ventures into new interests, and started reading.</p><p>Most of the posts were fans excitedly talking about their favorite units, some were extremely elaborate fanmail, complete with heavily edited photos of their favorite individual idols, and there were plenty of other videos Tsukasa hadn't shown him.</p><p>One post caught Kohaku’s attention, though. It was just a plain text post that read:</p><p><em><b>AidoRabu</b>: hello! ♡ i'm new here but i love LOVE idols!!! ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡♡♡<br/>
</em> <em>if anyone wants to talk about idols and stuff, i need some friends (*/ω＼)</em></p><p>The timestamp said it was posted a lot earlier in the day, but Kohaku noticed that no one had replied yet.</p><p>He wasn't sure what he was thinking, normally he would ignore posts like that since they weren't exactly uncommon on other forums, but before Kohaku knew it he was signed into the account he'd made for the site before and finding “AidoRabu”’s post again, commenting:</p><p>
  <em><b>Sakurakawa</b>: i’m new too, wanna chat? i dunno much but idols are really cool</em>
</p><p>He hit send before he could second-guess himself, plugging his phone back in and burying his face in his pillow.</p><p>He'd check for a response in the morning.</p><p>❀</p><p>It wasn't until Kohaku was in the car and on the way back to Kyoto from the Suou mansion that he thought to check for a response from “AidoRabu”. The drive would take nearly six hours and it was just him in the car, separated from the driver by a plastic privacy panel. He knew the journey would be much shorter if his parents would just let him take the train, but the last time he brought it up it hadn't exactly gone well for him. He opened up his phone’s web browser, no one would know he was using it for a non-emergency like this, right? </p><p>The forum site was still open, so he refreshed the page and was greeted by not just one but <em> three </em>notifications: one from AidoRabu responding to his comment excitedly, one from a forum admin telling them to take conversations to private messages, and then a private message from AidoRabu:</p><p>
  <em><b>AidoRabu</b>: hi! i hope you don't mind me DMing you like this suddenly (m;_ _)m</em>
</p><p>Kohaku smiled. He'd halfway feared that he hadn't actually responded in the comments, or that he would never hear from AidoRabu for some reason. He quickly typed out a response:</p><p>
  <em><b>Sakurakawa</b>: i don't mind! this is easier than commenting a bunch anyway</em>
</p><p>Only seconds passed before his message was marked as read and a bubble popped up to show AidoRabu was typing. Kohaku chuckled, they must have had the window open and waiting for a response.</p><p><em><b>AidoRabu</b>: omg i was worried you weren't gonna respond o(〒﹏〒)o<br/>
</em> <em>i always worry about getting too excited around new people…<br/>
</em> <em>you said you're new to idol stuff?? what got you into it? what's your fave unit?? bias?? (o´▽`o)</em></p><p>The barrage of messages took Kohaku by surprise, but he supposed he was grateful AidoRabu was so eager because he had no idea how to start a conversation with a stranger anyway.</p><p><em><b>Sakurakawa</b>: oh haha i was just busy earlier, mb<br/>
</em> <em>i’ve got a really long ride home tho so i’ll be here for a while<br/>
</em> <em>my cousin showed me some units from Yumenosaki this weekend, i really like the dancing, it's really cool! idk what my faves are yet tho, but i liked Chess a lot. wut’s a bias?</em></p><p><em><b>AidoRabu</b>: it's okay! i should know not everyone stalks idol forums like i do _(:3 」∠)_<br/>
</em> <em>oh noooo Chess just disbanded earlier this year ｡ﾟ･ (&gt;﹏&lt;) ･ﾟ｡<br/>
</em> <em>they were so cool though!!! it's super rare to see such a big unit but I guess there was a lot of drama at Yumenosaki this year… have you seen Knights yet??</em></p><p>Kohaku never imagined talking to someone online could be so… easy. AidoRabu admittedly carried most of the conversation, but Kohaku caught himself smiling so hard it hurt. They sent him links to videos to watch, gushing about specific idols that Kohaku couldn't recognize yet, and Kohaku got swept up in the pace so easily that he didn't even realize how much time had passed until he looked up and started recognizing the low buildings of Kyoto.</p><p>
  <em><b>Sakurakawa</b>: hey sorry, i’m almost home so i gotta go</em>
</p><p>
  <em><b>AidoRabu</b>: awww that was too quick (╥﹏╥)</em>
</p><p>
  <em><b>Sakurakawa</b>: thanks for keeping me company Rabu-han</em>
</p><p>
  <em><b>AidoRabu</b>: kansai! Σ(°ロ°)</em>
</p><p>
  <em><b>Sakurakawa</b>: oops haha yea, is Rabu-han no good?</em>
</p><p>
  <em><b>AidoRabu</b>: nonononono it's good!! i just didn't expect it (//ω//)</em><br/>
<em>no one’s ever given me a nickname before (￣▽￣*)ゞ</em>
</p><p>There was a pause before Kohaku saw Aira’s typing bubble pop up again, and the driver pulled into the area near the Oukawa house.</p><p>
  <em><b>AidoRabu</b>: thanks for today, Sakura-san, it really made me happy ♡</em><br/>
<em>i hope we can talk again soon</em>
</p><p>Kohaku smiled at the nickname, his heart swelling at the thought of getting to talk to Rabu-han again. It really felt like he made a new friend today, something he had never really gotten to do before, and he didn't even know their name or if they're even a boy or a girl.</p><p>He'd have to thank Tsukasa for showing him idols later.</p><p>
  <em><b>Sakurakawa</b>: i hope so too</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ahhh the great Kohaira pact... be sure to check out the other two if you haven't, my friends and i really made our own food here</p><p>
  <a href="https://twitter.com/shiinyniki">my twitter</a>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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